Archive for the ‘ Body ’ Category

Dear Sony Ericsson

Dear Sony Ericsson, Despite what you may think, my ear is neither able to grab nor does it have an opposable thumb which would make it easier for me to hold onto your poorly designed Bluetooth headset. Further you should note that a human being’s ear canal actually changes shape when they speak so nothing round is going [ READ MORE ]

The View From Broken Back Mountain

Ok, so it’s not quite Brokeback Mountain, it’s more of a clever title (which sadly isn’t all that clever either). There are no gay cowboys vying for each other’s love in my home, and they’re not dragging me out to the mountains once a year for a hidden tryst that neither’s wife knows about. Instead [ READ MORE ]

TURN OVER HONEY, YOUR WOUND IS SMELLING

Over the past few years I’ve had what–until recently–I thought was a cyst burrowing its way toward my brain just above my right eye. It was mostly in the right eye lid, as opposed to in my eye. This little bastard–we nicknamed the manatee–really got me good. Painfully so, it would taunt me on a [ READ MORE ]

J.: MY GIRLFIREND, FORMERLY REFERRED TO AS “THE LIVE IN GIRLFRIEND.”

It’s amazing how a year in a life can affect one person. The ups, the downs, the sideways, and the asymmetrical gyrations can leave one feeling rather topsy turvy not knowing in which direction to throw up. Compress that entire year into one single solitary instance where the big bang was starting to feel the [ READ MORE ]

THE TRAINING WHEELS ARE OFF, AND MY BIKE FELL OVER PUSHING THE BANANA SEAT DEEP INTO MY ASS

Image via Wikipedia So the snow is finally getting it’s act together and getting the fuck outta town. I’m quite thrilled by this, really. I get to go skiing this weekend and hurl myself along the edge of some precipice at high velocity all while trying to make sure I don’t hit a mogul, go [ READ MORE ]

Recent entry

Archive

Category

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 136 other followers